Convert Envy to Admiration
"Comparison is the death of true self-contentment."
~ John Powell
It's natural for living things to see stuff they want and desire to have it. The single person sees married folks and wonders when love will find them. Often, the poor see wealthy people and yearn for financial freedom. The hungry man wants your dinner. We all want fulfilling things that we've been doing without. What have you been wanting?
Desiring what other people have comes in two flavors - envy and admiration. Envy is rooted in lust and makes you discontent. Envy can lead to poorly chosen actions such as theft, murder, and adultery. Admiration, on the other hand, is rooted in respect and/or love. Admiration strengthens your will and sets your sights on productive action. "If they can do it, so can I." Choose admiration.
Don't allow your desire for what other people possess or have achieved lead you down the destructive path of envy. It won't pay off. Envy will fill you with negative emotions that will deter you from making wise choices. You're better than that. You are a capable human being. Don't try to take shortcuts to get what other people have. Even if you get it, it won't make you happy. You need to earn it to feel fulfilled.
How do you convert envy to admiration? First, recognize the negative emotions. For example, you see a man with a beautiful wife, and your brain says something like, "He doesn't deserve her..." You are not the arbiter of what other people deserve. This is the beginning of the negative train of thought brought on by envy. Next, express your desire positively with intention such as, "He must be a great man to have landed such a wonderful lady." Now, your on a better path.
Admiration is a step down the path of achievement. For example, if the man is your friend, you might even ask, "How did you end up with such a wonderful wife?" He might even tell you how they met - which could give you actionable insights on how to meet such a lady. Believe in yourself. If someone else can do it, so can you. It may take work on your part (and it probably will), but your desires are achievable.
Envy is dangerous - a slippery slope. Admiration is a foundation - a building block to a better future. If you allow yourself to feel negative emotions because of what people around you have, you won't be a happy person. Someone will always have more. You need to be okay with that. If you want something bad enough, earn it. Do the self-work that's needed to achieve your desires. Be strong. Take small steps in the right direction. I believe in you. Now, it's your turn. Godspeed.