The Courage to Be Disliked
To become a complete human, one must take ownership of his or her own existence. Epictetus once said, "It's not what happens to you but how you react to it that matters." Life is a forge. Ultimately, it is the responsibility of each individual to either be shaped into a useful instrument or melted over the coals. In "The Courage to Be Disliked," Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga expound an enlightening discourse that will prove to be very valuable to your direction in life.
Will you be driven by fear and choose to be comforted by the attention victimhood brings, or will you be courageous enough to face the World and own your path? The idea of a safe space becomes treacherous when refuge is the only thing an individual seeks. Quality interpersonal relationships are important to the well-being of the human animal. Quality is composed of honest discourse, the ability to listen, the willingness to disagree, and the fortitude to change one's mind when found in error.
Build horizontal relationships. Imagine for a moment a mother reprimanding a child while she points and wags her finger at him. This is an example of a vertical relationship and should be avoided. Horizontal relationships foster understanding between parties by allowing communication to seek out truth in the fog of disagreement without castigation. Imagine a healthy relationship between a husband and a wife. Seek to make all your relationships horizontal.
Contribute to the World positively and know that you can only do your part. Enduring happiness is brought by contribution such as doing a good job, nurturing loved ones, and speaking unpopular truths. It is not your job, however, to perform the parts of other people. This is the Separation of Tasks. People are not cars. You cannot reach over and grab their wheel. You can order a child to go to sleep, but he or she may lay all night with eyes wide open. Do your part and be satisfied.
There is not a person that does not endure some kind of hardship in life. Personally, I have been set on fire, shot at, drank urine to survive, lost everything on more than one occasion, stood down a bar full of grown men and countless individuals, and suffered loss on several fronts. I would not change a thing. Do not be a victim. Be a survivor. Do not isolate yourself out of fear. Contribute positively to the World with your abilities. I strongly recommend reading "The Courage to Be Disliked."